Saturday, August 8, 2009

Knees Up



Knees, i've just realised, are the universal common link between sex and religion.


Spidey over there is a Red Kneed Spider. Normal knee piccies were tres pedestrian and kneed piccies of other sorts were not going to pass muster on a family friendly page. Hence you get Spidey, Spidey and don't forget to click the title link cos it takes you to a fascinating blog all about arachnid matings......nothing directly to do with knees, but blogs are all about lateral turnings.

Of any variant for both (sex and/or faith) One is on one's knees quite a lot during sex, in various poses methinks and one is urged to be on ones knees preferably both at frequent intervals as prerequisite to being a diligent supplicant, apart from the whirling dervishes, of course.

I've even found a christian reference for Knee-trembling sex.... which features, much to my surprise....a doggy on the stairs. Oh, don't believe me then. just go look.

However age wearieth them. The Knees in this case. And it puts a bit of a dash in the pash for tremmbling of any persuasion with the trembling beginning a ha, how should one put this delicately....before the tremblings should?


I will happily admit to a) being 18plus b)having knees that are proving wearisome when tired and c)humm, well, being being in a "position "...(such a bad pun)....where knee health has suddenly assumed priority importance.


All videos, dvds and self help manuals for Kama Sutra, etc should be sold with 2 pairs of knee pads. By law. And all churches should have hymnals, prayer mats and yes, knee pads. Free.


Then we could kneel in appropriate and reverent supplication for hours and hours and hours........Orgiastic fervour perhaps?












Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Xanthoula




A greek friend has explained that "Xanthoula" means little blonde. Of course that piqued my feminine ego to have the diminutive included as description of self. Diminutive is not something often accorded to moi as any kind of description. Either in personality or form. But there's most definitely a very small inner me longing for an outing.


Greek? This cross bred celtic something teutonic 7th generation australian anomoly? It's all to do with RSVP. The scourge of lonely, single, something adults.


None of us are supposed to admit for our yearnings of comfort and warmth that comes with a close, happy intimate relationship.


It is expected that one will have dealt with the detrious that is the "baggage" of emotional fall out from previous relationships and the traumas of same.


We're supposed to have happy, fulfilled, balanced, adult, sensible, busy, busy, busy lives with the messy bits carefully fluffed and arranged for public sanitisation.


And believe me RSVP is time consuming. There's the angst of doing one's profile. It's a mine field of hidden meanings. Then the angst of what if no one sends a stupid "kiss". The angst of responding or not. The angst of truth or massaged or just how massaged and when and where does one stop.
The angst of just when to meet, when not to, how to check them out ....axe murderer, pain in the butt, anally retentive, dorian greys...and Oh God, the angst of ones own appearance close up.
I'm a virgo. Think anally retentive multiplied by a sqillion times and you're pretty well on the mark.
Wrinkles and dimples.
Botox and injectible clinics should be offering complimentary pre RSVP date make overs in return for publicity of successful dating hook ups.
The online dating phenomen is here to stay until the next gen. dating development; gradually becoming less of the social pariah, but still subject to sniggers and titters from those privileged couples, safely ensconsed in their kingdom of coupledom.
OK that's the rant. You want the dirt.
Two, almost three face to face meetings. I've gone international. Italian, Greek, Estonian. Borne out in my wisdom by the ABC news this morning that a study carried out by Oxford University showing Australian husbands are the least desirable in the world - due to their inherent laziness and non participation in the household. And as we all know my very personal dislike of anything German in light of...the war of course!!
Some really nice email exchanges. Porkies in terms of age, height. Bearing in mind my respiratory consultant's admonition ....."(men) they are completely self absorbed"...i'm prepared to be generous in my judgement here, however it's not looking good for the blokes.
THis is entertainment and sometimes fun and often excruciating. The "wardrobe" door has to be opened each time so that t'other side has a chance to assess your own veracity, motives, mental acrobatics and boy is this hard. I'm not sure it's cathartic in terms of dealing with any of the very recent dung heap of my former marriage. In fact after one episode this week i'm convinced that it has been positively retro.
The upside is that i'm learning that i'm not prepared to misrepresent my life or who i am. It isn't fair on anyone else and it definitely is not fair to myself. On this basis i can fairly well predict that RSVP and me will be sharing birthdays for some time yet.
You want to provide suggestions? oh, all right.....go to RSVP (rsvp.com.au) Look for "iamxanthe". Only sensible ones please. Perhaps my personality in 10 words or less - guaranteed to perfectly summate the winning attributes that make me me.....