Husbandry...and other irritations

I admit-
I'm just not good at the art of husbandry. I'm sure there are thousands of experts, self help, self proclaimed, published, professional, proven and other - who can offer me 10 simple steps to husbanding happiness.
But where are they at that any given moment of crucial blindingly clarifying ephiphanical (is that a word????) moment when one has the life defining realisation.....
I did this. I made the decisions. I have brought this upon myself and there is just no-one, simply no-one else to blame
The aforesaid experts and others can leap about in a frenzy of pontification and worse, oh much much worse - the FREE ADVICE (which, haven't you noticed, is always for your own GOOD!) yeah, right. well - if it's that good - then why give it away?
But no; it's not a breakthrough. It's not a leap forward. It's not anything.
Except a millisecond of honesty in the midst of billions who are struggling with their own self doubts and much much worse - starvation, abuse, homelessness and spiritual longing.
As to being depressed about it? How self absorbed is that in the light of the immediately preceding comment.
Natch. Gotta learn about love and life and the making of happiness. A little less turpitude, a little more giving....some strong moral fibre where one takes ownership of the good, the bad, the ugly and the plain ol' mr and mrs indifference.
it's not an easy lot - far from my own husband's oft stated wish.
but i've noticed, and this is an admission dragged from the depths of a most reluctant soul, that once one manages to do something that is a little more noble, there is an uplift of the shoulders and more pleasing set to the disposition.
Oh....other irritations? perhaps i should just concentrate a little more, just this once, on managing the uplift